Tagged: optimism

I use tags as easy search functionality more so than as categorical labels. Below, you will see an archive all posts that mention or refer to optimism, but some posts may not center on that topic.

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Quitting Smoking is Hard

It’s officially the two week mark of my endeavor to quit smoking.  My conclusion?

Quitting smoking is really hard.

I’ll be honest… I haven’t exactly gone two weeks without a cigarette.  I’ve cheated — pretty much every single day since March 11th, which if you remember from my original post on the topic, was the day I had set as my quit-date in honor of what would have been my grandfather’s 80th birthday were he still alive (and may he rest in peace).

I started off weak on that fateful Tuesday… I still had three cigarettes left in what should have been my last and final pack.  Instead of throwing them away after ceremoniously breaking them in half, I smoked all three of them inside the two hours after I woke up and before I had to go to work.  By the end of that first day, I was a complete wreck.  I cried and nearly had a panic attack — and then I broke down and begged Bob for a cigarette.  I had three more before bed time.

I made Bob hide the remaining cigarettes in the pack he bought just for my breakdown.  We agreed they would be my “emergency” cigarettes, for those occasions where I felt like I needed to KILLABITCH.  I’m officially coining that word as a unit of measurement for frustration/rage.  In fact, by the end of the day, my mood had reached several killabitches.

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Kicking Butt and Making Plans

August has been a blessing and a curse, but I’m proud of myself for making it through despite the negative aspects hanging over me like a shroud. I keep reminding myself that, all things considered, my life is pretty awesome right now.

My trainer at work posted this during class, and it made me smile hardcore.

My trainer at work posted this during class, and it made me smile hardcore.

Ultimately, I’m feeling pretty good about my life right now, despite stress and a few bumps that would normally send me into a raging depression.  For the first time in my adult life, I find myself making plans and actually having the means to follow through with them, and that’s always exciting.  Part of that has to do with me kicking butt at my new job and getting some amazing opportunities early on for future career success.  I’ve got a doctor’s appointment to address some of my concerns with my health and I’ve got awesome things planned creatively to make me feel like me again.

Look out September!

New Beginnings

That’s a really cheesy title for a blog post. Trust me, I know.  But hey, it’s appropriate, so we’re just gonna roll with it.  Mmk?

A year ago — right around this time last year, in fact — I had just arrived in East Texas to stay with my dad and Brenda (my amazing stepmom) indefinitely.  Why?  Because I was broke, jobless and couldn’t afford to renew the lease on my apartment.  They took me in to help me get back on my feet.  Once I did get a job, I moved back to the Dallas area — but it was a lateral move really, considering it was into my mother’s house. In the meantime, I was still hung up on my ex-boyfriend, CODENAME: SAILOR (he’s in the US Navy), suffering from hella writer’s block, and ready for something to give.  It was easy to be motivated at first, by what seemed like positive progress (i.e., getting a job, SAILOR acting like he might want to get back together, etc.), but everything fell apart again.

Long story short:  I hope I never get pneumonia again.

Little did I know last year that today I would be writing this from the comfort of my new home.  A cozy (read “tiny”) one-bedroom apartment in my hometown, where I live with the love of my life and my best friend.  Bob. *Swoons*

Stop laughing.  That’s really his name.

Seriously.

Anyways… The point is that I’m happy, healthy(ish), and looking forward to the future again.  As cheesy as it is, I’m starting a new chapter in my life — so, I decided to celebrate by giving my websites a facelift!  Woohoo!

Considering that it’s two in the morning and I can always use a good excuse to add new posts later… I think I’m gonna shut up now.  That means you’ll have to wait to hear more about my amazing boyfriend and the epic changes I’ve got planned for my websites. Good night, World!

PS: Alle, I’m really sorry I didn’t get on IMVU earlier tonight.  Dx
I’ll textplain tomorrow.