So, after saying goodbye to Xander last Thursday morning, I’m sure you wouldn’t be surprised to hear that I’ve been pretty depressed this weekend. For me, losing Xander meant mourning for more than just my lost friend. It feels like losing my childhood. It reminds me of all the loved ones I’ve lost and mourning one means I mourn them all. Last night, I confided to Bob that I wasn’t sure how I would make it through the work day without breaking down again. As the amazing boyfriend he is, he offered me comfort and reassurance. But this morning he proved, yet again, that he is far better than I or any woman could ever deserve.
When I got out of the shower this morning, I found this on my pillow:
“Good morning beautiful”
And that’s not all…
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
— William Shakespeare’s Hamlet
When I was six years old, my parents got me a puppy. Despite the many years since that day, I remember it well. My parents shuffling me outside at my grandparents house because they had something they wanted to show me. What I found was a cute little Yorkshire Terrier with floppy ears. We named him Dusty — formally Dustin Alexander Wilson — and he became my best friend in the whole world. My mom later told me that she had always been a little jealous of the bond that Dusty and I had, and when I was fourteen we welcomed another cutie to our family.
Xander as a puppy with his very first toy.
After being part of our family for thirteen years, we said goodbye to Xander today. I guess I have decided the best way to deal with my loss is to write about it.